Being "Mom" In God's Strength Not My Own

Sometimes the responsibilities that come with my role as a mom of two special needs children feels overwhelming.  So many people have told me that Josiah and Bethany Grace chose us as parents and that God must think a lot of us to give us two children with extra special needs.  Some days I wonder what it would be like to have typical children without the special needs.   But then I have just erased the most wonderful and beautiful aspects of my children and an opportunity to depend more on Jesus.  My two children are precious and I love them very deeply just as they are.  Yet, it still is a heavy load to bear some days….when I try to bear the responsibilities on my own strength.  For a year after Bethany Grace came home from the NICU I tried desperately to do it all on my own strength.  Pumping her breast milk for her feeding tube, being a nurse 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and coordinating all of her care with doctors, specialists, therapists, case managers, and supply and equipment companies.  I quickly burnt out and did not spend enough time caring for myself. 

Only recently I have experienced the freedom and joy in depending on God’s grace and help.  About a month ago, exhausted and at the end of myself I threw up my hands and cried, “I cannot do this on my own strength anymore!  I need you, Jesus!”  The phrase, “God never gives you more than you can handle” really means “God never gives you more than you can handle when depending on His strength.”  I need God’s help and strength in my daily life of caring for my two children.  I am finally thankful for the incredible challenges I have been dealt with my family.  For without them, I would have been able to keep going in my own strength and would not be experiencing the grace and the joy and the freedom and the rest that comes from receiving grace on a daily basis. 

Whether you have typically-developing children or special needs children, do you ever feel like you try to be a mother in your own strength, not depending on God’s grace to give you strength and joy?  I have learned that I miss out when I am stubborn and refuse God’s help—even when I might feel like I do not need it that day.  I am now trying to remember to be thankful for my difficult circumstances, to ask God to come into my weakness with His grace and make me strong in His strength.  When I am loving my children and caring for them through God’s love, I am a much better mom. 

Kristin  

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

Hello from TN!

Hello, I am happy to be here blogging. I am excited about my sisters idea.  Yet, honestly I have no idea what to say today. Things have been crazy at our house with bringing Peyton home to us. It is 9:30 and I am finally getting a chance to attempt this post. I have not even blogged my personal blog since like April.  And I have not really blogged our adoption blog since before we left Ukraine.  I am very thankful to not be tired right now... yesterday was a different story... I was so exhausted in every way possible that I was not functioning very well.  Our precious little boy has been home 3 weeks now.  Some things have been hard, some things have been amazing... we love our life and our family. We are excited how God will continue to use us and can't wait to see what he has next for our lives after this adjustment period.

I am not sure exactly what kind of posts my sister expects from me. But I am most likely going to post things about life: about relationships, parenting, community, missions, homeschool, spiritual healing, theology, marriage, etc. I am a deep thinker, analyzer type. I am not very creative like my sister, so it is nice to have a mixture of people on this blog to contribute and learn from. I like her fun ideas she comes up with to do with her kids. She inspires me all the time in how to be a good mom. I hope that I can help inspire, enlighten, educate, intrigue, etc others through this blog.

My sister says I amaze her because I homeschool my kids. I think she is way more patient that I am, lol.  There is really nothing special about me that I can do this. I can't really do it, but I can through Christ and his strength.  It is funny, I call myself an enigma. I don't really make any sense. If you were to look at me, you would never guess I was a stay at home, homeschooling mom of 4!!! I am a tomboy, have been my whole life. I have never fit-in at any ladies or mom events. I don't seem to have a lot in common with other moms or socialize very well with other ladies. I am one of the least patient people in the world. I am not very creative. I am naturally very lazy. I am not very tactful or gentle. I didn't spend a lot of time with little kids at any point in my life. However, I have always wanted to be a mom. That is the one thing I have always known, and know I would never want to live without.

God grabbed our hearts for homeschooling early on. Yet, when the time came for school to start with our oldest, I was not in a very good place spiritually or emotionally and the idea of homeschool was not even in sight. But you know what... God healed me... and then God called me back to it... and I was obedient... and this life is not easy but it's wonderful. If you like the idea of homeschooling or have ever thought about it, you should look into it. Get educated about it, pray, and listen. If you know you feel called to do it and have put it off, then trust God and just do it! But definitely get help, find  community of support, and get involved in the community you live in! We are not called to isolation! Important: Do not look at yourself to see if you have the ability... look to God and know he has the power. Just make sure you go where God is leading, whatever that may be.  The alternative is not wise. 

This journey has been great so far in the short time we have been doing it. I mess up constantly, but I don't give up. It is growing me, changing me, building my character, opening my eyes, etc. I am learning more and more about sacrifice and death to self. I am learning more about my children and growing our relationships. I mess up constantly, but I don't give up. A lot of things are trial and error. I love the flexibility our family can have. I love the freedom in the curriculum and how we can teach them truth throughout the whole day no matter what subject they are learning. I mess up constantly, but I don't give up. As a parent, my #1 goal is to train them up to spread God's fame and build the Kingdom. For us, this path includes homeschooling. It was a calling; one we accept with joy and we keep covered in prayer.

I look fwd to posting more and getting to know some readers.

A book I read recently about parenting young children that I thought was totally awesome is, Loving the little Years by Rachel Jankovic. I highly recommend it!

Another is One Million Arrows by Julie Ferwerda. Again, highly recommend!

Chrissy

Introducing...

Today I am excited to introduce a couple of new faces to my blog!  These other moms will be blogging with me periodically so they may also share their stories and ideas.

First, my sister, Chrissy is also a stay home mom and she home schools!  She amazes me, I don't have the patience for homeschooling. ;)  She is my best friend and a great mom!  Chrissy has 4 kiddos ages 8, 6, 5, and 2!  She just recently adopted their little 5 year old boy from the Ukraine!  If you click on her picture you can read about their adoption journey.

Next, is Kristin.  Kristin and I are colleagues from Wheaton College.  We met in a marrieds small group during graduate school and became instant friends.  Kristin inspires me to find the strength I need to be a better mom (she may not believe me, but it's true; she is amazing!).  She is now celebrating her 10 year anniversary and has 2 beautiful special needs children.  She has an amazing story to share and I am so excited to have her blogging with me!

Finally, I want to introduce my mentor, Jenny.  God blessed me with Jenny's friendship shorty after having my first child.  She has been an excellent teacher and encourager to me as both a wife and mom.  Jenny has been married for 32 years, has 3 grown children, and 4 grandchildren.

I hope you enjoy learning from and growing with us!  We also hope to hear from you--your stories and ideas--as well.  :)  We hope to pass along our faith from one mom to another as well as to the next generation.

"I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also."


2 Timothy 1:5